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[evilgrows]

WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DR. ROBOTNIK. FOR SECURE COMMUNICATION, USE 905.77.247.37 *** DOCTORROBOTNIK has joined 905.77.247.37 <DOCTORROBOTNIK> You've reached Doctor Robotnik. Leave only one message, and I'll get back to you if I find it necessary.

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<DoctorRobotnik>

[evilgrows]

You don't need any more information than "can accomplish a hell of a lot more with better equipment." I'm one of those secret government types.

[Just ignore the fact that there's no one to mark his work as classified here.]

Something like that's been a side project of mine for some time, actually. I was on the verge of a couple of breakthroughs before... well.

[Before his great new power source kicked his ass into a mushroom hell and he got intercepted by a completely different nightmare.]

Given the right equipment, I should be able to put my concepts into action. Who are you preserving?

<cellist>

[ikonsuit]

You strike me as more of the forthcoming, social butterfly type.

Good to know you're only as good as your tools, though. Right now, with my machines, you'd be hard up to use them. Fog's leeched the life out of most of the equipment. Figure I'd have to haggle with the one calling herself Mana to get life into anything more high-tech than a microscope. In the meantime, I've been doing what I can to jump-start the quadrupole mass analyzers.

[ He said he had tech. He didn't say he had working tech. ]

What's it to you?

<DoctorRobotnik>

[evilgrows]

UGH, I should have known it was too good to be true. But you've seen what I can do with what amounts to a handful of paperclips and pocket lint. I work with machines! Vacuum tubes can only get me so far. What you're asking for requires a few more steps towards the Singularity than they're willing to take around here.

[He'd have better luck getting his mobile lab from home. Maybe he can rig it up to drive/fly it out of here.]

Well, gee. MAYBE if you want me to digitally access someone's consciousness it'd make sense for me to know who it is.

<cellist>

[ikonsuit]

I said I'm working on it.

Got a few guys who owe me favors. These machines should have power in no time.

[ He'd swear Robotnik to secrecy on this front, but even Slade knows how well the doctor keeps to himself. ]

Dr. Liewen, father of the Fourth God. We need what he knows about the creation of Fourth, the network. Don't know how forthcoming he'll be. In case anything happens, I figure a back up is the way to go. From what I understand, he's old. And he's human. They're fragile things.

Even if he wasn't on his last leg, an artificial mind is senile-proof.

<DoctorRobotnik>

[evilgrows]

That so?

[Well that's a concept.

Not only would this potentially provide a wealth of information, it'd be useful for his own plans re: the Fourth as well. Two birds, et cetera.]

You HOPE it's senile-proof, you mean. If senility's baked into the software already, a change in hardware isn't going to matter without some necessary bugfixes. It'd be a good resource and a better experiment either way.

You have a contact?

<cellist>

[ikonsuit]

I have a *plan*.

You have your part in it.

You'll be compensated for your work. As always, the sooner the better.

<DoctorRobotnik>

[evilgrows]

Wow, you're almost worse than Uncle Sam.

But fine. Leave the genius out of the loop. Show me the equipment so I can see what I'm working with.

<cellist>

[ikonsuit]

Uncle Sam signed my paychecks for over a decade. About the only thing he ever did for me.

Downtown Bavan, off 3rd St. The one made of glass.

Drop by after 2PM. I'll be there.

<DoctorRobotnik>

[evilgrows]

He's been signing my paychecks since I had paychecks. Might still be.

[Incredibly unlikely, but his alleged superiors have certainly done more stupid things.]

See you then.

[He's taken to using his smallest size to get him from place to place (it's the fastest and most efficient beyond the specific circumstances of faerie rings), and he shows up at the given location at exactly 2:01 PM, possibly startling any onlookers with a rapid change from an inch tall to 6'2". Showoff.]

Well, this is ostentatious.

[Sounds like he approves.]

[ikonsuit]

[ Slade's waiting just outside, hands in the pockets in what passes for comfortable clothes in Dyster, when Robotnik grows to the size of a normal human. He wears his surprise well — after all, nothing should be able to surprise him after the time he's spent here. And yet Robotnik gets a raised eyebrow. He checks his watch.

Punctuality. Rare. ]

It's something.

[ It's not what he asked for. He'd hope to never see this place again, but it's here now. More importantly, it's useful.

The inside is just as 'something' with a modern steel-and-glass interior overlaid with wood accents. There's an elevator, a number of staircases, and a giant glass that houses an indoor nursery in the foyer alone. ]

...I trust you understand why I'm bringing you on for this.

[evilgrows]

Sticks out like a sore thumb. They should learn a thing or two from this around here.

[There are times when he prefers being fashionably late, leaving people wondering if he's going to show up or not. This isn't one of those times. As much as he loathes working with people in general, this is the first step to dealing with better technology than he's been.

He follows along, looking at least slightly impressed with the interior. His warehouse lab is roomy, but it doesn't have much of an aesthetic yet.]

My vast knowledge, my incredible skills, my experience with classified information? My impeccable taste? You figured out everybody else is terrible? Could be all kinds of reasons.

[ikonsuit]

Close. [ In a manner of speaking. He may be going out of his way to show the best of the building — the automatic, underlit lights which glow with every step on the staircase, the long corridors filled with projects Tanya started but never had a chance to finish. If he wants Robotnik on his side ( and he does ), it won't hurt to dangle the metaphorical carrot. ]

There are plenty of 'geniuses' around here. Dr. Flug, Handsome Jack. Myself. Skills and brainpower aren't as rare as you think.

But you're a Fae. Fae can't lie.

...Evidently, neither can I. [ Three eyes briefly look up to the tell-tale halo above his horns. ] It places us on equal footing. Makes it apparent that your cockiness isn't just an act. It's not a lie you tell yourself; it's something you actually believe in.

[evilgrows]

[And what a carrot it is. Robotnik isn't even glaring too much as he observes. He kind of hates being reminded of what he left behind, the tech aesthetic not that far from what he personally likes, but it's nice to see nonetheless. High quality stuff here.]

Skills and brainpower, sure, I'll admit that there's a better concentration of intelligence here than I'm used to, although it's counterbalanced by a concerning amount of stupidity, mainly in the--

[He pauses, giving Slade a very unimpressed look.]

Ah, so we're on the backhanded compliments here, are we? And I can't even get as sarcastic as I'd like about it because I have a stupid brain filter.

[He lets out an annoyed sigh, all sets of arms crossed before spreading out the top ones in a wide shrug.]

Annoying that it took that to convince you, but fine. Now you know I'm the real deal. And that's it? That's all it took?

[ikonsuit]

That's it. That's all it took.

[ That, and months of observing his network posts, seeing his inventions in action, and hearing positive reviews from those he's referred to Robotnik. Network posts, mainly. Best way to see how a guy operates, his internet history.

Robotnik's been consistent with his hate for the Fog and his disdain for overwrought riff-raff. They have that in common. ]

How particular is your brain filter? Haven't been able to drop an f-bomb in months.

[ Some twists down hallways and a brief elevator ride up, and the two of them are standing before a row of laboratories. Some are aptly titled 'RESEARCH' or 'DIAGNOSTICS' or 'SPEEDFORCE EXAMINATION,' while others are simply labeled by number. Slade gestures for Robotnik to take his pick in where he starts his examination. ]

[evilgrows]

[Hmph. But, oh well, he can't complain that much when at least he's getting access to even the smallest possible amount of better technology here.

Well, he can, but he's not going to. Instead, he continues following Slade while taking note of what he sees along the way.]

Saying "fuck" isn't a lie, so lucky me. Generally it's just-- if someone says something incredibly stupid, I can't tell them "oh, you're so smart," or anything along those lines. Sometimes I feel with just an extra push I could drop a few untruths, but then the concept makes me feel like garbage. Not that I have a ton to lie about beyond the aforementioned sarcasm, so it's not a total loss. I can live with it. The pros significantly outweigh the cons. And it's not some kind of compulsion, so if I don't want to tell someone something, I can just... not tell them.

[Clearly impressed and even excited about the selection of labs, he wiggles his fingers-- all 30 of them-- and heads towards the research lab. Best place to start, after all.]

I wasn't expecting this much of a selection from the get-go.

[ikonsuit]

Lucky you is right. Got a 'PG' filter installed a few months back. Can't say 'fork,' [ but he can sure try ] . Puritan angel interpretation, I'm guessing. Not that it matters. Only really notice it when you realize there's a word there that you can't grab onto. And there's only about eight of those.

[ He's counted.

They differ in their aversion to lies as well. Where Robotnik sounds as if he's physically incapable of lying without some ill effects, Slade's able to lie without internal troubles. His lies are simply broadcasted to the world, as Robotnik will discover if he spends long enough in Slade's company.

At Robotnik's behest, Slade enters the code to the research lab and sliding doors open. Automatic lights click on without the press of any buttons, and they're greeted to rows upon rows of microscopes, beakers, test tubes, Petri dishes, and pushcarts. There's a meticulously labeled storage wall full of chemicals and ingredients. On the far side, a wash station urges all who enter to wear protective gear at all times (!!!).

Slade picks up a stray vial. ]

Good choice. This lab is probably the one least affected by the Fog. [ As such, almost all of the equipment is functional. A giant, spinning machine of some kind appears to be defunct, along with a row of printers that appear do much more than make copies. ]

[evilgrows]

Nothing like abitrary word filters. Does it extend to unsavory concepts, or is it just the words?

[If he didn't mind being here, that might be the kind of thing he'd like to study: where various monster issues start and end. But he minds, so most of his brainpower is focused on escape.

First things first: he's never been so damn excited to see a basic code door. Trying to make anything functional the way he likes here has been a particular hell.

And with that... there's a lot to look at. He'd been at least mildly interested in this place to a point, but now he's really got that kid-in-a-candy-store vibe as he flits from one thing to the next.]

Now that's what I'm talking about!

[Hell, even if something doesn't work, it's at least miles past what he's been trying to work with til now.]

Finally, something that doesn't look like it came out of Dr. Frankenstein's Sears catalogue. If everything here is even slightly like this... I can work with this.

[ikonsuit]

Doesn't apply to being sinful, no. [ Now that would make things hard. ] Just can't blaspheme. Learn to get creative with it, not that it's of my own volition.

[ He gets it, in a way. If this place didn't hold such bitter-sweet memories, he'd likely show more enthusiasm over the tech now at his fingertips... If Slade were one to show enthusiasm at all. The most he offers Robotnik is a look that's not annoyed. It's not quite an indifference, but he doesn't seem to mind the way Robotnik fawns over machines that Slade wouldn't otherwise bother with. ]

...The place belongs to a scientist. Might even give you a run for your money. She had two PHDs by the time she was fifteen. [ Before Robotnik can get too drawn in by what they have, Slade is heading out and nodding for the doctor to come with him.

They've got a lot to see, after all. ]

It's not the best that the place has, but it's the best you can work with. [ Whether Robotnik is with him or not, Slade begins punching in the code to a room marked 'DEFENSES'. Inside, various machines and robots lay in disarray. Security bots stand motionless, on guard against some unseen threat. There are bots with propellers that would probably be buzzing through the air if the energy wasn't drained from them. Around the room, stray tools and circuit boards clutter the benches. ]

Rest of the rooms are closer to this state. Nothing works save for the lights.

[evilgrows]

Psh, is that all?

[He's trying really, really hard not to list his various childhood accomplishments. He succeeds, but it definitely looks like he wants to say something, eyebrow twitching and all. Thankfully, he doesn't have to struggle with that too much, because there's more to see. He takes one last look at the room, considering the layout and the variety of machinery, and then he follows Slade out.

It's not long to get to the next lab, of course, and his eyes widen when he takes in the sight. This is absolutely something he can work with, barely functional or no. He just has to work at it. Easy. Totally.

After another round of flitting through the room getting a good look at things, he crouches down next to one of the security bots, inspecting it thoughtfully. When he speaks next, his voice is softer, friendlier, and he's definitely not talking to Slade.]

Aww, look at you. You're stuck here, huh? I'll have you up and running in no time, don't worry.

[They aren't his babies, no, but they're machines nonetheless, making them a million times better than people even if they're not functional. He gives the bot a gentle pat before standing up.]

I'll make it work. Plenty of parts, too, for more interesting modifications.

[ikonsuit]

[ He's not the worst science type that Slade's had to deal with. Isherwood clearly takes that spot. Comparatively, Robotnik hasn't even reached the top ten. In a world of academic supervillains ( Dr. Freeze, Dr. Strange, Dr. Crane... ), you run into some stiff competition.

No, Slade doesn't take fault with the enthusiasm, even if all of his eyes narrow once Robotnik gets to sweet-talking a machine. Weird, but it's better to see these idiosyncracies now lest they become a problem later. ]

So you'll take the gig, I take it?

[ Not that Robotnik seems to need much more convincing, but Defiance does have an abhorrent amount of laboratories, and it'd be best for the man to get a lay of the land if he plans to work here. Once again, Slade is out the door, onto some other lab marked 'METAGENE'. Before he types in the code, his fingers hover over the keypad. ]

Understand you're here for a job. As in I'm hiring you. Liewen's preservation takes priority... Beyond that, I don't care what you do in your downtime. The more you can do with these labs, the better.

Be good to see them get some use again.

[evilgrows]

Of course I'll take it, [he all but snaps, following him out after one last longing look at the room full of machines. Oh, he'll have himself an army again someday.

Until then, there's all of this. He scoffs]

Oh ye of little faith if you think I'm incapable of multitasking. How do you think I ever get anything done? Working for The Man every day, doing the same thing over and over and over, listening to a bunch of idiots with more medals than sense try to tell me how to do my job? Side projects.

[Okay, so he hasn't had that particular job for... some months, but that doesn't change anything.]

They'll be getting plenty of use, trust me. Preservation project and all.

[ikonsuit]

'The Man'? Sounds like you should have cut your losses. Gone solo.

[ It worked for him. ]

Keep looking around, if you want. Passcode's 1102. [ Which will surely be changed before the day is over. ] I'll get a contract drafted up in the meantime. Shouldn't take long; got most of it typed up before you got here.

[evilgrows]

Unfortunately, The Man tended to provide better resources. Like hell I'll even have a job anymore when I finally get out of here, anyway. I doubt they'll be waiting for me with open arms.

[Probably more for the alien debacle than the "stuck in monsterland for months" thing, but y'know. No need to mention specifics, make things too complicated, back himself into a corner of Truth. He can only hope Agent Stone knows where his loyalties should lie.

Still, he smiles when he's given the code.]

Ah, the keys to the playground. I'll make sure everything stays in one piece, just bring me the legal mumbo jumbo whenever you're ready.

( minor NSFW i am so sorry )

[ikonsuit]

You can't afford to break anything.

[ They can swap tales of bureaucracy and corporate red tape after the business at hand is handled.

For now, Robotnik is left to his own devices. True to Slade's word, the fancier the machine, the more dead it appears to be. Tanya's labs are filled with chronal harnesses, atomic microscopes, and devices that shoot your consciousness off into space. Have fun trying to get any of them to work.

Robotnik gets about an hour of free-range exploring before Slade is back with a stack of papers comparable to a small phone book. Wherever Ivo lands, Slade'll take a seat at the nearest table and place the stack in front of him. ]

Master Development Service Agreement.

Agreement for the Development, Implementation, and Maintenance of both Hardware and Software

The legally binding document between one (1) WILSON and one (1) ROBOTNIK serves the following purpose —

a. Assigning ROBOTNIK to the limited employ of WILSON

In signing, each party agrees to be of legal age, mentally capable, and has agreed to the terms of the contract of his own free will.

[ From there, the text goes into various clauses and subclasses about the length of the agreement, the specifications of said agreement, and what it takes to break the contract. There's something free room and board — should Robotnik choose to move in — and 24-hour access to the labs, should he decide to use them.

There's also the now-infamous sex clause somewhere on page twenty-seven, which states that their contract isn't inherently nullified in the instance that they bang. ]

beautiful

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik spends the entire hour flitting around the labs, sometimes shrinking himself to see if he can get inside various machines and get a better look. Except for the most basic of devices, it's pretty much all dead, which is especially frustrating when it comes to machinery he's not familiar with. It'll get done eventually, if he has anything to say about it.

When Slade comes back with his contract tome, Robotnik's only about a foot tall, taking a close look at something complicated and outside the realm of possibility where he comes from. He watches Slade sit down, zips over to the the table, and goes back to full size before pulling up a chair to check out what he's dealing with.]

These'll do, [he says by way of conversation before grabbing the stack. Of course, he reads the whole damn thing. He's fast, though; the man clearly speed-reads.

The contract definitely covers all the bases, and he's almost impressed at what he's reading. Plenty of wiggle room for doing the things he wants, nothing he can particularly object to. He's definitely not moving in, although considering how much he works the fact that he can stay here is definitely helpful.

All in all, definitely a reasonable contract... so he makes just about the most unpleasant face when he gets to the "sex clause." He's silent, though, until he reads the whole thing.]

Well! Certainly can't say you're not thorough. I can only hope some of it was generic.

[Please don't be coming on to him. He is above such things. Also terrible at other such things.

But he's got a pen in his pocket, because of course he does, and he pulls it out to sign the contract with a flourish.]

Can't wait to get started.

[Not only is it not a lie, this whole lab thing's probably one of the only things he's even looked forward to in this hellhole. Any possibility of getting closer to getting home is fine by him.]