WELCOME TO YOUR PRIVATE CHANNEL, DR. ROBOTNIK.
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<DOCTORROBOTNIK> You've reached Doctor Robotnik. Leave only one message, and I'll get back to you if I find it necessary.
(no subject)
[There are times when he prefers being fashionably late, leaving people wondering if he's going to show up or not. This isn't one of those times. As much as he loathes working with people in general, this is the first step to dealing with better technology than he's been.
He follows along, looking at least slightly impressed with the interior. His warehouse lab is roomy, but it doesn't have much of an aesthetic yet.]
My vast knowledge, my incredible skills, my experience with classified information? My impeccable taste? You figured out everybody else is terrible? Could be all kinds of reasons.
(no subject)
There are plenty of 'geniuses' around here. Dr. Flug, Handsome Jack. Myself. Skills and brainpower aren't as rare as you think.
But you're a Fae. Fae can't lie.
...Evidently, neither can I. [ Three eyes briefly look up to the tell-tale halo above his horns. ] It places us on equal footing. Makes it apparent that your cockiness isn't just an act. It's not a lie you tell yourself; it's something you actually believe in.
(no subject)
Skills and brainpower, sure, I'll admit that there's a better concentration of intelligence here than I'm used to, although it's counterbalanced by a concerning amount of stupidity, mainly in the--
[He pauses, giving Slade a very unimpressed look.]
Ah, so we're on the backhanded compliments here, are we? And I can't even get as sarcastic as I'd like about it because I have a stupid brain filter.
[He lets out an annoyed sigh, all sets of arms crossed before spreading out the top ones in a wide shrug.]
Annoying that it took that to convince you, but fine. Now you know I'm the real deal. And that's it? That's all it took?
(no subject)
[ That, and months of observing his network posts, seeing his inventions in action, and hearing positive reviews from those he's referred to Robotnik. Network posts, mainly. Best way to see how a guy operates, his internet history.
Robotnik's been consistent with his hate for the Fog and his disdain for overwrought riff-raff. They have that in common. ]
How particular is your brain filter? Haven't been able to drop an f-bomb in months.
[ Some twists down hallways and a brief elevator ride up, and the two of them are standing before a row of laboratories. Some are aptly titled 'RESEARCH' or 'DIAGNOSTICS' or 'SPEEDFORCE EXAMINATION,' while others are simply labeled by number. Slade gestures for Robotnik to take his pick in where he starts his examination. ]
(no subject)
Well, he can, but he's not going to. Instead, he continues following Slade while taking note of what he sees along the way.]
Saying "fuck" isn't a lie, so lucky me. Generally it's just-- if someone says something incredibly stupid, I can't tell them "oh, you're so smart," or anything along those lines. Sometimes I feel with just an extra push I could drop a few untruths, but then the concept makes me feel like garbage. Not that I have a ton to lie about beyond the aforementioned sarcasm, so it's not a total loss. I can live with it. The pros significantly outweigh the cons. And it's not some kind of compulsion, so if I don't want to tell someone something, I can just... not tell them.
[Clearly impressed and even excited about the selection of labs, he wiggles his fingers-- all 30 of them-- and heads towards the research lab. Best place to start, after all.]
I wasn't expecting this much of a selection from the get-go.
(no subject)
[ He's counted.
They differ in their aversion to lies as well. Where Robotnik sounds as if he's physically incapable of lying without some ill effects, Slade's able to lie without internal troubles. His lies are simply broadcasted to the world, as Robotnik will discover if he spends long enough in Slade's company.
At Robotnik's behest, Slade enters the code to the research lab and sliding doors open. Automatic lights click on without the press of any buttons, and they're greeted to rows upon rows of microscopes, beakers, test tubes, Petri dishes, and pushcarts. There's a meticulously labeled storage wall full of chemicals and ingredients. On the far side, a wash station urges all who enter to wear protective gear at all times (!!!).
Slade picks up a stray vial. ]
Good choice. This lab is probably the one least affected by the Fog. [ As such, almost all of the equipment is functional. A giant, spinning machine of some kind appears to be defunct, along with a row of printers that appear do much more than make copies. ]
(no subject)
[If he didn't mind being here, that might be the kind of thing he'd like to study: where various monster issues start and end. But he minds, so most of his brainpower is focused on escape.
First things first: he's never been so damn excited to see a basic code door. Trying to make anything functional the way he likes here has been a particular hell.
And with that... there's a lot to look at. He'd been at least mildly interested in this place to a point, but now he's really got that kid-in-a-candy-store vibe as he flits from one thing to the next.]
Now that's what I'm talking about!
[Hell, even if something doesn't work, it's at least miles past what he's been trying to work with til now.]
Finally, something that doesn't look like it came out of Dr. Frankenstein's Sears catalogue. If everything here is even slightly like this... I can work with this.
(no subject)
[ He gets it, in a way. If this place didn't hold such bitter-sweet memories, he'd likely show more enthusiasm over the tech now at his fingertips... If Slade were one to show enthusiasm at all. The most he offers Robotnik is a look that's not annoyed. It's not quite an indifference, but he doesn't seem to mind the way Robotnik fawns over machines that Slade wouldn't otherwise bother with. ]
...The place belongs to a scientist. Might even give you a run for your money. She had two PHDs by the time she was fifteen. [ Before Robotnik can get too drawn in by what they have, Slade is heading out and nodding for the doctor to come with him.
They've got a lot to see, after all. ]
It's not the best that the place has, but it's the best you can work with. [ Whether Robotnik is with him or not, Slade begins punching in the code to a room marked 'DEFENSES'. Inside, various machines and robots lay in disarray. Security bots stand motionless, on guard against some unseen threat. There are bots with propellers that would probably be buzzing through the air if the energy wasn't drained from them. Around the room, stray tools and circuit boards clutter the benches. ]
Rest of the rooms are closer to this state. Nothing works save for the lights.
(no subject)
[He's trying really, really hard not to list his various childhood accomplishments. He succeeds, but it definitely looks like he wants to say something, eyebrow twitching and all. Thankfully, he doesn't have to struggle with that too much, because there's more to see. He takes one last look at the room, considering the layout and the variety of machinery, and then he follows Slade out.
It's not long to get to the next lab, of course, and his eyes widen when he takes in the sight. This is absolutely something he can work with, barely functional or no. He just has to work at it. Easy. Totally.
After another round of flitting through the room getting a good look at things, he crouches down next to one of the security bots, inspecting it thoughtfully. When he speaks next, his voice is softer, friendlier, and he's definitely not talking to Slade.]
Aww, look at you. You're stuck here, huh? I'll have you up and running in no time, don't worry.
[They aren't his babies, no, but they're machines nonetheless, making them a million times better than people even if they're not functional. He gives the bot a gentle pat before standing up.]
I'll make it work. Plenty of parts, too, for more interesting modifications.
(no subject)
No, Slade doesn't take fault with the enthusiasm, even if all of his eyes narrow once Robotnik gets to sweet-talking a machine. Weird, but it's better to see these idiosyncracies now lest they become a problem later. ]
So you'll take the gig, I take it?
[ Not that Robotnik seems to need much more convincing, but Defiance does have an abhorrent amount of laboratories, and it'd be best for the man to get a lay of the land if he plans to work here. Once again, Slade is out the door, onto some other lab marked 'METAGENE'. Before he types in the code, his fingers hover over the keypad. ]
Understand you're here for a job. As in I'm hiring you. Liewen's preservation takes priority... Beyond that, I don't care what you do in your downtime. The more you can do with these labs, the better.
Be good to see them get some use again.
(no subject)
Until then, there's all of this. He scoffs]
Oh ye of little faith if you think I'm incapable of multitasking. How do you think I ever get anything done? Working for The Man every day, doing the same thing over and over and over, listening to a bunch of idiots with more medals than sense try to tell me how to do my job? Side projects.
[Okay, so he hasn't had that particular job for... some months, but that doesn't change anything.]
They'll be getting plenty of use, trust me. Preservation project and all.
(no subject)
[ It worked for him. ]
Keep looking around, if you want. Passcode's 1102. [ Which will surely be changed before the day is over. ] I'll get a contract drafted up in the meantime. Shouldn't take long; got most of it typed up before you got here.
(no subject)
[Probably more for the alien debacle than the "stuck in monsterland for months" thing, but y'know. No need to mention specifics, make things too complicated, back himself into a corner of Truth. He can only hope Agent Stone knows where his loyalties should lie.
Still, he smiles when he's given the code.]
Ah, the keys to the playground. I'll make sure everything stays in one piece, just bring me the legal mumbo jumbo whenever you're ready.
( minor NSFW i am so sorry )
[ They can swap tales of bureaucracy and corporate red tape after the business at hand is handled.
For now, Robotnik is left to his own devices. True to Slade's word, the fancier the machine, the more dead it appears to be. Tanya's labs are filled with chronal harnesses, atomic microscopes, and devices that shoot your consciousness off into space. Have fun trying to get any of them to work.
Robotnik gets about an hour of free-range exploring before Slade is back with a stack of papers comparable to a small phone book. Wherever Ivo lands, Slade'll take a seat at the nearest table and place the stack in front of him. ]
[ From there, the text goes into various clauses and subclasses about the length of the agreement, the specifications of said agreement, and what it takes to break the contract. There's something free room and board — should Robotnik choose to move in — and 24-hour access to the labs, should he decide to use them.
There's also the now-infamous sex clause somewhere on page twenty-seven, which states that their contract isn't inherently nullified in the instance that they bang. ]
beautiful
When Slade comes back with his contract tome, Robotnik's only about a foot tall, taking a close look at something complicated and outside the realm of possibility where he comes from. He watches Slade sit down, zips over to the the table, and goes back to full size before pulling up a chair to check out what he's dealing with.]
These'll do, [he says by way of conversation before grabbing the stack. Of course, he reads the whole damn thing. He's fast, though; the man clearly speed-reads.
The contract definitely covers all the bases, and he's almost impressed at what he's reading. Plenty of wiggle room for doing the things he wants, nothing he can particularly object to. He's definitely not moving in, although considering how much he works the fact that he can stay here is definitely helpful.
All in all, definitely a reasonable contract... so he makes just about the most unpleasant face when he gets to the "sex clause." He's silent, though, until he reads the whole thing.]
Well! Certainly can't say you're not thorough. I can only hope some of it was generic.
[Please don't be coming on to him. He is above such things. Also terrible at other such things.
But he's got a pen in his pocket, because of course he does, and he pulls it out to sign the contract with a flourish.]
Can't wait to get started.
[Not only is it not a lie, this whole lab thing's probably one of the only things he's even looked forward to in this hellhole. Any possibility of getting closer to getting home is fine by him.]
(no subject)
[ Yes. This is his version of a concise contract. No hidden fees, no dubious clauses wrapped up in legalese. He's honest on that front — what you see is what you get.
Slade's also got a pen at the ready, but it makes a bit more sense in his case. Once Robotnik is done, he also signs on the dotted line before returning the contract to a folder marked simply with the number '3'. ]
Seems we're in business.
You make your own schedule, Robotnik. Take the day off or keep tinkering around. Doesn't make a difference to me.
[ With everything set to go, he gets to his feet. ]
Before I forget, we're having a summit. You're invited. Granted, it involves being around people. Figured my mileage would vary. [ That said, there's an invitation set on the table for him. ]
(no subject)
[But whatever, other than that oddly suspicious clause, it's probably the best contract he's ever dealt with. To the point despite his length, doesn't try to sneak anything in, nothing he has to argue about... or threaten anyone about.
It's fine!]
I want to get a better look at what I'm working with. I'll be around if you need me.
[There's a clear undertone of "don't need me" in his voice, but whatever, he is under contract and everything. What's briefly more interesting is the invitation. He raises an eyebrow, looks at the invite, then scoffs.]
A... summit. Interesting choice of words for a party.
[There's even a fancy little faerie on it. Pointlessly cute.]
I hate networking.
[He pauses. It's... rare that he gets invited to things enough to even bother turning them down. Not that he'd usually go even if he did, but maybe something for "professionals" will be slightly less... obnoxious?
Unlikely. Near-impossible. Especially something that's clearly on Christmas. He is not carving the roast beast.]
But fine. I'll show up. Just don't expect me to stick around.
(no subject)
[ It's a strange way to say 'thanks for the RSVP,' but it's there. If you squint. ]
Lock up when you're done. Should have a personal entry code programmed in for you by tomorrow. Don't break anything. Update me with progress.
[ Is there anything he's forgetting... ]
Any questions for me?
(no subject)
[Where the hell was this kind of job all his life, huh?]
The contract seemed pretty straightforward. Everything else... I've always liked independent hands-on learning.
[Mainly because when people talk at him about things he knows most about it already anyway. Some of this might be outside the level of tech back home, but that doesn't mean he can't figure it out.]
I'll bother you with questions later if I find it absolutely necessary.