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Dr. ROBOTNIK ⬤ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (2020)

residential district ⬤ LEVEL 2

MOONBLESSING ⬤ IRIS

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[evilgrows]

[He lets out a heavy sigh, running his free hand down his face. Of course. Of course!]

I have no idea why you'd want to, but fine. Okay? Fine.

[herocomplex]

'Cause! You're interesting! And I wanna look out for you! I'm pretty invested in seeing what you come up with while you're here.

_{[ That and the fact he enjoyed himself during the whole Astella/Ostella bullshit. Sorry, he kind of attaches himself like glue to people if they give him an ounce of attention. ]}

I believe in you too! This quill thing that you're talking about.. I think it could probably work.

_{[ Says the guy that knows nothing about the hedgehog power. He's just stupidly optimistic. ]}

[evilgrows]

...Thanks.

[He really, really doesn't sound like he believes it. Too... nice? Friendly? Supportive? All of the above? It just doesn't seem right.

People shouldn't like him. That's just ridiculous.]

It'll have to work, because it's the only plan I've got right now.

[The only get-out-of-here plan, anyway, because he clearly has a number of other plans for other purposes.]

[herocomplex]

_{[ If people tolerate America, he likes them. That's how desperately he wants friends. That was your first mistake, Robotnik.
America helps himself to another taiyaki. ]}

What are you so eager to get back to home for? I kinda like being here without any responsibilities.
... Or is responsibilities all you really know what to do with and you wanna get back to them?

[evilgrows]

[He never even meant to tolerate him! He's running on things that happened when he wasn't even in his right mind!!

And apparently there's nothing he can do about it now.]

I still have things I need to take care of back home. I can't just let that go.

[Revenge, essentially, on a horrible blue alien and his stupid dad. And, eventually he'll find, on his own damn employers.]

I have work to do.

[herocomplex]

Really? Like top secret government work or something else?
_{[ He's smiling so innocently, but he seems terribly interested. ]}

[evilgrows]

...Something else.

[It's hard to look too angry/threatening when you're eating a fish-shaped pastry, but if anyone can manage, it's him.]

Something more personal.

[herocomplex]

A SECRET LOVER.
_{[ He sounds.. so very certain. ]}

[evilgrows]

What? No!

[He just... grumpily takes a bite of his taiyaki because that's the last thing he ever expected him to come up with.]

I just have something annoying I need to deal with.

[herocomplex]

....
The President.

Yeah, I understand, man. It's real annoying.

[evilgrows]

N-no.

[He doesn't exactly want to mention the fact that he needs revenge on a horrible blue alien hedgehog.]

It's even more annoying than that.

[herocomplex]

....

Woah, are you.. serious? It's that bad? I thought that was impossible!!

[evilgrows]

Just trust me on this one, okay? You think you've seen some bad things, and then this happens.

[herocomplex]

Well, I'm curious now!! What is it?

[evilgrows]

It's... incredibly classified. Very important that I tell no one about it.

[herocomplex]

I'll show you my incredibly classified alien if you tell me.
_{[ show me your alien I'll show you mine, etc. ]}

[evilgrows]

I really, really, really don't need to see your alien. Trust me.

[herocomplex]

Wait, seriously..!? I thought for sure that would work..!! C'mon, man. We're basically BFFs now. And BFFs share everything together.

_{[ Since WHEN are they BFFs? ]}

[evilgrows]

...We fucked, once, while I was under multiple influences. That doesn't make us "BFFs." [He includes air quotes, except only with one hand since the other is occupied.] Some things, I don't care to share with anyone.

[herocomplex]

Yeah, we did fuck! And it was fun. But I think you're really interesting and we have some common interests, so..

_{[ So. Friend. Automatically. ]}

And! I went out of my way to bring you taiyaki.

_{[ That is a bit concerning if Robotnik doesn't want friends. He already has one that cares. ]}

[evilgrows]

Which you chose to do, by your own volition.

[How does one man, who doesn't want, need, or care about friends, end up with people who actually want to be? It makes no sense.]

What makes me so goddamn interesting? Why do you care so much?

[herocomplex]

Well. For one thing, you look like Jim Carrey.
Secondly, you work for the American government, which I guess.. I kind of do too in a weird way. We both like science! And conspiracy theories! And taiyaki.

Also your tentacles are pretty neat. I wouldn't mind seeing them again at some point.

_{[ America. ]}

[evilgrows]

[He lets out a heavy, heavy sigh.]

I don't really see the resemblance.

[And the other stuff he can just let go for the moment, because:]

...You work for the government?

[Is this some kind of immortality project not even he got clearance to know about???]

[herocomplex]

Kind of? I mean, I sort of don't know my whole purpose...
_{[ that's a mood... ]}

But I'm involved in a lot of different stuff. All of the wars, politics and economics, science...

We talked about this before, but maybe I didn't make myself clear.

I'm the embodiment of the United States. So I've worked alongside all of the Presidents and other historical figures. They're considered my "boss."

[evilgrows]

...When'd we get a mascot?

[Because that's definitely the first thing he thinks of where "embodiment" is concerned. Other possibilities are just ridiculous.

...Are they? In magic nicey nice land?]

I've heard of being fucked over by your country but this is just absurd.