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Dr. ROBOTNIK ⬤ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (2020)

residential district ⬤ LEVEL 2

MOONBLESSING ⬤ IRIS

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[evilgrows]

[It's not Iris yet, but it's getting close, and Robotnik's been trying to make sure he's ready this time. Not that he hasn't been doing a shit-ton of work otherwise, because he's always doing a shit-ton of work, but still.

He gets the message and groans, having thought (hoped) his "friend" might have forgotten. Oh well. One (1) break. He will take one (1) break.]

I have a feeling if I say no, I'll never hear the end of it.

So, fine. Bring on the lattes.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ One break with someone who can tolerate him and reeks of pheromones. Good. He gives the address to the cafe he's thinking of. ]}

see you soon robuttnik-sensei

[evilgrows]

Yeah.

[When he shows up at the cafe, he's dressed casually (all-black, evil villain casual, fingerless gloves included) and followed by a floating egg-shaped drone which scans the area for the target. Friend. Whatever.

If there's ever been someone who's the sheer embodiment of not wanting to be there, it's him.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ So nice to finally meet in person. It's Cordis, and Gintoki's traits are kitsune-like. He smells too sweet, like strawberries, which happen to be his favorite fruit. His attention settles upon the drone, first, and he taps it idly with his finger. Then, he talks to it like it's where he places his order. ]}

I'd like a caramel macchiato with chocolate drizzle.

[evilgrows]

[Ah, that would be the target right there. He looks different, but not too different, and he can pick him out pretty easily. The smell is... certainly something, and he wrinkles his nose.

Meanwhile, the drone beeps and starts to ready its smaller guns and he has to hurry up and press a few buttons on his gloves to stop it.]

Starting off on the right foot by trying to put yourself on the threat list, huh?

[That's basically a greeting.]

[naturallywavy]

It wouldn't be the first time.

_{[ He has a pretty smarmy smirk when he says this. He gestures to Robotnik's gloves. ]}

Nice Siri device. I guess you're one of those obsessive eBay shoppers and find good deals on stuff like this?

_{[ Or.. he's rich? Maybe? Which in that case, fuck that. ]}

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik's face twists into a sneer, not that it takes much for that, annoyed as he's been.]

EBay? Not even close. I made this.

[He gestures at the drone, almost like he's showing it off. He's definitely showing it off.]

I found that shop you told me about. This is... one of my babies.

[And yes, he's been having it follow him around because HE MISSED HIS BABIES DAMMIT LET HIM LIVE.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ A baby, huh? ]}

Wow. It's got your eyes.

_{[ Though, Gintoki strokes his chin and looks back over at Robotnik. ]}

Taking my advice, huh?

[evilgrows]

[He shrugs a shoulder, rolls his eyes, and pats the drone.]

It was... reasonably sound. While I'm working on current projects I still... thought having an original would be a good idea. If only it was viable to get the whole collection.

[It is, unfortunately, not.]

So, let's just get this over with.

[naturallywavy]

What would you do with the whole collection? I mean.. it's cool and all, but seriously, nobody needs a whole crap ton unless they were up to no good.

.. Or, you know, they were lonely.

_{[ LOOKING DIRECTLY AT ROBOTNIK. ]}

Right. What kinda latte do you like? My treat.

_{[ He's a cheapskate, so this is kind of a big deal. Maybe. ]}

[evilgrows]

I'm not lonely. My machines are just of particular importance to me. I'd prefer to have all of them.

[AND IF HE WAS LONELY HE WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE SO THERE. He gives him a pointed glare, then clears his throat.]

Mmm, large, with goat milk. Space goat milk. Whatever.

[He gets... different results in different places.]

[naturallywavy]

Yeah, sure.

<sub>[ He isn't convinced!! He's gonna bring out the sliver of humanity you have in you, Robotnik, or die trying. Anyway, both of Gintoki's kitsune tails flick at the request before he walks (rather, saunters, curse his Cordis blood) to the counter and talks to the barista. Something about the conversation seems from, an outsider, that he's flirting, and his typically red eyes— now gold during this time of the moon— are glowing faintly. No credits are exchanged.

Once he's finished, he steps back and gives Robotnik a rather sly smile, arms crossing over his chest. He makes his way back over. ]</sub>

I don't typically trick minds, but the cost here is a little steep.

_{[ CHEAPSKATE. ]}

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik watches him, rolling his eyes when he notices that he's getting all flirty with the barista. He shoots the drone a look of the "looks into the camera like on The Office" variety.]

He is not, [he mutters. He did not come out here to watch people flirt, dammit.

But then Gintoki comes back with an explanation and and Robotnik can't help but be, to an extent, impressed.]

That's a thing you can do, huh? Sounds... useful.

[Why doesn't he get useful things, huh???]

[naturallywavy]

Only during this moon phase. Yeah, I'm pretty cool, right? Don't worry, I wouldn't use it on you.

<sub>[ Probably not, at least. Anyway, might as well get comfortable at a little table while they bring out the lattes. Looks like Gin got the barista's number written on his cup too. Damn. He really couldn't have done it without being a kitsune, though. Those dead fish eyes couldn't attract anyone..

.. You know, besides the fact he's got protagonist privilege and all the supporting characters wanna link up with him, but that's whatever. ]</sub>

So. Does it have a name? Your egg bot thing.

[evilgrows]

You even try and you'll be on the receiving end of something incredibly unpleasant.

[He pats the drone affectionately and follows along, trying not to look too annoyed.

Failing.

At least there's a latte soon, and while it's not like Agent Stone's, it's still adequate. He glances up mid-sip, shrugs a shoulder.]

I call them badniks. Not officially, but that's what they're called. [Not a bad guy name at all, nope.]

[naturallywavy]

Why badniks when they could be... goodniks?

_{[ Gintoki, you know this answer. You just like harassing him. ]}

Can they do any neat tricks?

[evilgrows]

[He shoots him a withering look.]

Does this look like a "goodnik?"

[Sipping his drink again, he holds his free hand up, pressing buttons on the glove single-handedly. The drone does a little flip in the air.]

They're not exactly designed for tricks.

[naturallywavy]

It looks like something I'd buy on Amazon, so I guess badnik does fit.

_{[ Though, he watches it do a flip and slowly claps his hand with a faux impressed look. ]}

What are they designed for? Some hardcore oviposition kink?

_{[ Gintoki. He just said that they can shoot, but of course, Gintoki wants more detail and.. well.. just loves annoying this guy. ]}

They're kinda big for that.

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik fixes him with the least impressed glare in the world, peering over his cup.]

Why the hell is that your first thought?

[THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE WHAT THE HELL--

He shakes his head.]

They're designed for a number of purposes. Surveillance, pursuit, combat, and more.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Because he loves aggravating you and IT'S JUST EASY, OKAY. ]}

That sounds whack.

_{[ THAT SOUNDS WHACK, but look at that dead ass expression. No intimidation whatsoever. ]}

But I guess kinda cool depending on what you're using them for. Are you gonna actually use them here for some reason or you're just feeling homesick?

[evilgrows]

[He sighs, busying himself with the latte again. Why did he bother with this whole ordeal again?]

My machines are very important to me. I doubt I have much reason to use them for their usual purposes here, but... I prefer to have at least one.

[Homesick? Nahhh. Labsick? Maybe. Yeah. Probably. He's not admitting to it, though.]

But, well, if I need more personal security, then I need more personal security.

[naturallywavy]

Or you could hire a bodyguard.

<sub>[ Gintoki.. slowly lifts a thumb, gesturing to himself. He knows damn well this won't work. After all, the robots work for free and are efficient, but.. there's just something a lot more warmer about having an actual person to help you. Maybe.

Even if the person has lifeless eyes. ]</sub>

I dunno. You don't seem that scary. Like.. someone who would need security, but I don't know.

[evilgrows]

[The mere idea of a bodyguard makes him roll his eyes, but what really makes him almost choke on his coffee from scoffing is the whole gesturing to himself thing.]

Are you just that desperate, or what?

[That's the only logical explanation, right? He's so desperate to... hang out with him, that he wants him to hire him to? Or something?]

I probably won't need the security for more than just, I don't know, the errant weird creature that shows up. But just in case, I prefer something with the ability to analyze threats efficiently. Something I built.

[naturallywavy]

I never said I wasn't desperate. It's my job. Well. All the jobs are my job, actually.

_{[ All he's trying to do is get Robotnik to allow him to help with various things so he can hit him with a ridiculous bill. It's a little sneaky, but that's what capitalism is. ]}

It's pretty impressive, not going to lie.

[evilgrows]

Well, your jobs don't involve me, so don't even try.

[He might not know the actual Motivation here, but also he has no need to hire anyone for things his robots can do!! Anyway, he sighs and focuses on his latte again.]

Of course it's impressive. These are some of my best work, the highest in efficiency. They do everything I tell them to, no question.