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Dr. ROBOTNIK ⬤ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (2020)

residential district ⬤ LEVEL 2

MOONBLESSING ⬤ IRIS

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[evilgrows]

[He shoots him a withering look.]

Does this look like a "goodnik?"

[Sipping his drink again, he holds his free hand up, pressing buttons on the glove single-handedly. The drone does a little flip in the air.]

They're not exactly designed for tricks.

[naturallywavy]

It looks like something I'd buy on Amazon, so I guess badnik does fit.

_{[ Though, he watches it do a flip and slowly claps his hand with a faux impressed look. ]}

What are they designed for? Some hardcore oviposition kink?

_{[ Gintoki. He just said that they can shoot, but of course, Gintoki wants more detail and.. well.. just loves annoying this guy. ]}

They're kinda big for that.

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik fixes him with the least impressed glare in the world, peering over his cup.]

Why the hell is that your first thought?

[THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE WHAT THE HELL--

He shakes his head.]

They're designed for a number of purposes. Surveillance, pursuit, combat, and more.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Because he loves aggravating you and IT'S JUST EASY, OKAY. ]}

That sounds whack.

_{[ THAT SOUNDS WHACK, but look at that dead ass expression. No intimidation whatsoever. ]}

But I guess kinda cool depending on what you're using them for. Are you gonna actually use them here for some reason or you're just feeling homesick?

[evilgrows]

[He sighs, busying himself with the latte again. Why did he bother with this whole ordeal again?]

My machines are very important to me. I doubt I have much reason to use them for their usual purposes here, but... I prefer to have at least one.

[Homesick? Nahhh. Labsick? Maybe. Yeah. Probably. He's not admitting to it, though.]

But, well, if I need more personal security, then I need more personal security.

[naturallywavy]

Or you could hire a bodyguard.

<sub>[ Gintoki.. slowly lifts a thumb, gesturing to himself. He knows damn well this won't work. After all, the robots work for free and are efficient, but.. there's just something a lot more warmer about having an actual person to help you. Maybe.

Even if the person has lifeless eyes. ]</sub>

I dunno. You don't seem that scary. Like.. someone who would need security, but I don't know.

[evilgrows]

[The mere idea of a bodyguard makes him roll his eyes, but what really makes him almost choke on his coffee from scoffing is the whole gesturing to himself thing.]

Are you just that desperate, or what?

[That's the only logical explanation, right? He's so desperate to... hang out with him, that he wants him to hire him to? Or something?]

I probably won't need the security for more than just, I don't know, the errant weird creature that shows up. But just in case, I prefer something with the ability to analyze threats efficiently. Something I built.

[naturallywavy]

I never said I wasn't desperate. It's my job. Well. All the jobs are my job, actually.

_{[ All he's trying to do is get Robotnik to allow him to help with various things so he can hit him with a ridiculous bill. It's a little sneaky, but that's what capitalism is. ]}

It's pretty impressive, not going to lie.

[evilgrows]

Well, your jobs don't involve me, so don't even try.

[He might not know the actual Motivation here, but also he has no need to hire anyone for things his robots can do!! Anyway, he sighs and focuses on his latte again.]

Of course it's impressive. These are some of my best work, the highest in efficiency. They do everything I tell them to, no question.

[naturallywavy]

They could involve you..

_{[ He's like.. a hopeless romantic. Though there's nothing romantic about him. Just greed. A hopeless.. businessman. Or something. ]}

If that's he case, you could really do some kinky stuff with them. I mean, if I had a bunch of robots I...

_{[ He trails off, seeming to think for a moment. ]}

Actually, I'd probably just make them do all of the house chores for me.

[evilgrows]

They could, they don't. I don't need you to do anything for me. I don't!

[He groans and rolls his eyes, though, looking exasperated over his latte.]

The badniks aren't for kinky things. They're not even remotely designed for anything like that.

[That's his other project!]

They're not glorified Roombas either.

[naturallywavy]

So.. they're assassins?

_{[ GINTOKI. ]}

I mean, if they aren't kinky toys or Roombas, that's the next viable option.

[evilgrows]

Assassins? That's all you think they can do?

[The exasperation continues, and he waves his free hand around.]

Of course they can be used for assassination. But to act like that's the only thing is ridiculous! They can do so much more. So much!

[naturallywavy]

How much would you charge for one? One that is just like that one.

_{[ Why does Gin want one? Nobody knows. ]}

[evilgrows]

Just like this one, hm?

[He looks from Gintoki to the drone and back. Not that he hasn't already been planning to make more, as well as have some sources for things, buuuuut on the individual level? Hmm.]

Not sure yet. I'd need to figure out materials, labor... an equivalent to what I make back home...

[naturallywavy]

I've got a feeling that ain't cheap.

[evilgrows]

Not cheap in the least. But the best needs to be paid the best.

[naturallywavy]

Not even if I convinced you otherwise?

_{[ Maybe his mind trick would work on Robotnik.. but that sounds a bit mean. He shouldn't haggle over the price even though he always does. It's an interesting thought.. after all, Robotnik is apparently really smart. Maybe it wouldn't be effective at all. ]}

[evilgrows]

[Robotnik, of course, scoffs.]

Unless you've got a hell of a barter system, I sincerely doubt you have any reason that's convincing enough.

[He's really not worried about him using his little mind trick, afterall.]

[naturallywavy]

At this rate, I'm pretty invested in your products.
Especially the Janet Jackson sex doll.

_{[ WHY IS THIS BEING BROUGHT UP AGAIN. ]}

You really make the Alexa look like a sham.

_{[ Alexa should be an assassination tool, but what is life. ]}

[evilgrows]

[Oh, COME ON. He lets out an annoyed groan.]

There is no Janet Jackson sex doll! There never will be! None of my products have any reason to look that humanoid!

[Ahem. He shakes his head, sips his drink, still looks annoyed.]

The most exciting thing about the Alexa is the fact that people willingly let a surveillance device into their home without much effort.

[naturallywavy]

You're not wrong. I never had one though.
Instead, we just had a full blown robot that would force us to pay rent. She was cute, though.

_{[ He's very fond of Tama even if she started off as a weapon robot. ]}

I have no doubt the shogun used Alexa.
_{[ Wait. Robots? Alexa? Shogun? What time period is he even from? ]}

Who does he have to hide from other than himself, right?
_{[ He can poke fun at the shogun. Maybe. He respected him more than anything else in the end. ]}

[evilgrows]

Hmmmmm, extortion. Interesting functionality. Wouldn't be my first choice, but...

[He rubs his chin, clearly thinking about it.

Buuut either way, whatever the hell is going on in Gintoki's timeline seems like a giant, excessive mess.]

I'm sure there's plenty for a shogun to hide from, [he says with the shrug of a shoulder, tapping the table.] But I've never met one.

[naturallywavy]

<sub>[ Tragically enough, the shogun that he knows of was assassinated and Robotnik is right. In his crazy world, there was a lot shady stuff going on with his government. And aliens. Aliens and government. But also in the 1800's. A lot is happening.

Gintoki meant his now deceased leader would have no need for one if they were used as spying tools. Maybe they aren't, or maybe just the citizens of Edo didn't really take to the Alexa craze. He'll never know. ]</sub>

I'm sure if Tama ever arrived here you could ask her questions about being a robot. For some reason, I think you might like that. Forming a friendship with a robot that isn't one of your own. She's very knowledgeable.

...

And dangerous.

_{[ He's kind of hoping she ends up here cause he misses her, but anyway. ]}

[evilgrows]

I don't know if I need to ask questions about being a robot.

[He knows how robots work. Sure, he's not actually a robot himself (yet) but he's well aware of the concepts of robotics and everything like that.

That's his thing.

Also sometimes he pretends to be a robot and makes robot noises because he CAN okay??]

But, eh, might be interesting enough. You'll have to introduce me if she turns up.

[It very well could be an interesting conversation if nothing else.]