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Dr. ROBOTNIK ⬤ SONIC THE HEDGEHOG (2020)

residential district ⬤ LEVEL 2

MOONBLESSING ⬤ IRIS

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[evilgrows]

[World domination takes a while, so any robot armies will be deployed long, long down the line at the earliest.]

Look, I worked for the government. I'm pretty sure I was RESPONSIBLE for at least three, lowballing the estimate here.

[Classified information means nothing here! Fuck it!]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ Eyebrow raise. Impressive. ]}
that's some evangelion shit right there

but
old news
my government, other organizations and direct politicians such as some of our shoguns were controlled by aliens.. they kind of took over japan
really, i didn't care about it all
_{[ Besides one particular instance which was the reason he even bothered fighting in the war against them, but of course that's backstory information that is yet to be unlocked. ]}

so that's kind of where i'm at as far as conspiracy stuff goes

[evilgrows]

[He knows the name of Evangelion, at least, even if he hasn't bothered watching it.

But that's definitely wilder than anything he's been called in for, alien hedgehog included.]

And yet you don't think it's possible that this is some sort of extradimensional MKUltra.

We're just a bunch of resources here.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ He won't even expound on the fact these aliens were after a power source that is deep rooted in the core of Earth and were supposed to monitor it and instead took over Earth and went on a side mission to use the power to create immortal beings, but whatever. The rich will always be evil and that's why Gintoki hates politics. ]}

could be
but i'm not going to think too much of it

it's unhealthy and will give me cramps

[evilgrows]

How nice it must be to decide to be so oblivious.

[Unfortunately for him, the second everything clicked and that became his prevailing hypothesis... well, it was hard not to consider, constantly.]

Whatever it is, there's something going on here. I'll figure it out.

[naturallywavy]

sometimes it's nice
i'd rather not get my blood pressure to rise when i've already dealt with enough conspiracy-doing idiots then i can shake a stick at

_{[ He remembers directly punching the shogun and sending him spiraling across the room. He also remembers the authoritative consequences that came with it and he's too tired to deal with that here. ]}

rooting for you
our hero, robo-sensei

[evilgrows]

Uh-huh. Well, I've discovered relaxing isn't exactly an option in my case.

[Not when he has all of these hell weeks to look forward to.]

But I'm not doing this to be anybody's hero.

I'm doing this for me.

[At least he's honest.]

[naturallywavy]

not even for the person that gave you the sex bot idea?
oh, and a latte

_{[ His offer still stands. ]}

[evilgrows]

I would have come up with it on my own. And if other people end up benefiting from my work, whatever, it's just not my focus.

[He just stares at the text for a while.]

Really persistent, aren't you.

[naturallywavy]

you're really persistent at not making friends
so i'm persistent at making one

[evilgrows]

I'm sure there's plenty of people here who are just fine with making friends. Why waste your time on me?

[naturallywavy]

you're interesting
and obviously need friends

happy to help

_{[ It's both out of pity and curiosity. ]}

[evilgrows]

I can assure you, I don't need friends. I never did.

[Of course he's interesting, though. He's a genius. That's very interesting. It doesn't seem like his "friend" here is going to take no for an answer, though, and in the interest of not having to keep arguing for the rest of eternity...]

But fine. If you insist, I GUESS.

[naturallywavy]

great
when?

just don't wanna interrupt your pre-scheduled brooding

[evilgrows]

I have literally no schedule anymore.

So any time before the Iris cycle rolls around again, I guess.

[naturallywavy]

_{[ You know that since he's said that, Gintoki is gonna want to visit during that time. Just because he's terrible like that. ]}

you got it
i'll keep you posted

_{[ FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC, JIMBOTNIK. ]}

[evilgrows]

Uh-huh. I won't hold my breath.

[FRIENDSHIP IS A WASTE OF TIME BUT SO IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE HERE SO WHAT THE FUCK EVER.]

[naturallywavy]

_{[ SHUT UP, YOU'LL LIKE IT. ]}

[evilgrows]

[NEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRR]