the canyon app

PLAYER INFORMATION

✘ Name: AgentKaz
✘ Age: 30
✘ Contact: PM, agentkaz
✘ Character(s) currently in game: n/a
✘ Favorite horror tropes/events: body horror (duh), psychological horror, comedy horror, zombies, parasites, scary biomechanical stuff (if these count...)
✘ Limits/Triggers: none
✘ Invited by: Naya

CHARACTER INFORMATION

✘ Name: Dr. Robotnik
✘ Canon: Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)
✘ Canon Point: Sent through the ring to the mushroom planet

✘ Age: 50s
✘ History: wiki link
✘ Personality:

You're assigned a group project. What role do you end up taking?

Let's be real. It doesn't matter what role I decide to take; in the end I'm going to be doing all the work anyway. And if somehow by some miracle I don't have to do all the work? The work won't be done well, and I still have to do it all. So we might as well just ignore all of that "role" crap and appoint me the leading leader in whatever the hell it is I'm being shoved into. It'll save a hell of a lot of people a hell of a lot of time and money, and it'll keep them from having to deal with me complaining about it. And trust me, I can complain. Loudly.

[He gives off an air of annoyance in general, but at least he doesn't seem to have an issue with answering questions right now. Or pounding his fist on a table to make a point.]

Frankly, I'd rather just work alone so nobody bothers me, but we all know how much people want to "foster cooperation" or whatever stupid new buzzphrases they're coming up with these days. Once they start talking about "team building exercises," that's the time to run. Get out and never stop running. There is nothing left there.

You have the chance to anonymously send a letter to someone who's wronged you in the past. What does it say?

Oh, I have the chance to anonymously send one letter? One single solitary letter? How generous of you. Listen, I have the opportunity to send as many letters as I feel like, right here, right now, right this very second. Hell, I'd rather just send them a nice, unpleasant email. [He emphatically taps the computer on his wrist.] Takes less time to get there, less likely to get lost in the mail. All I have to do is put a little effort into finding people, but it's not like it's hard. It's more time-consuming than anything, and with a little bit of multitasking it isn't that big of a deal either.

As for the contents? Oh, nothing too terrifying. They'd all probably say something along the lines of "watch your back," if I felt like being cryptic. Maybe include a little bit of identifying information, just to freak 'em out. Or just give them a nice description of just how much more successful I happen to be.

[He lets out a laugh. He's not trying to be unsettling, but he clearly doesn't care if he is or not.]

All speculative, of course. I have much better things to do right now, so I'm not going to bother putting the effort in. If someone wrongs me, I prefer to take care of it as fast as possible, anyway. Nothing a few machines can't fix.

Someone you admire very much has just done something you find reprehensible. How do you deal with the situation?

Well, in that case I guess I'd have to congratulate myself on the new and exciting depths I've apparently sunken to. See, I'm not one for admiration of others. What's the point? Everyone's going to disappoint you somewhere down the line, so why bother? When it all comes down to it, I'm the only one who can get what I need done. I think I've already taken this particular track, actually. The part with the group project role? Stop making me repeat myself.

[Cue the admonishing finger pointing, even if it didn't really have anything to do with the question at hand.]

Anyway, since my machines aren't going to do anything I find reprehensible in the first place, the only other logical object of my admiration is their creator-- that's right, me. And if I happen to do anything reprehensible, well, it stands to reason that there was a point to it in the first place, absolving me of any and all wrongdoing. So it doesn't matter. There's no situation, there's nothing to deal with. Sure made that easy, huh? You should have me write the questions. I'd be out of here by now and working on something worthwhile. Waaaay better use of my time.

If you could achieve all your goals right now, what would your life look like?

There's always going to be new goals popping up along the line, so that would depend on the exact meaning of the question. Is this a matter of achieving all of the goals I'll ever come up with in my life, or is it one of only achieving what I'm intending to achieve right this very second?

[He accompanies this with a needlessly dramatic shrug.]

If it's the second one... then, well, I'll have a lot more work to get done around here. I still have a lot to accomplish at the moment, but once I've done all that, then it's back to the drawing board because, well, are you ever truly done in my line of work? Absolutely not. Meanwhile, if it's the first one, then things might end up a little on the boring side. Can't innovate when you've apparently already accomplished it all. And I know I just said you're never truly done, but in the event that I've finished every single goal I could ever possibly have, then there's just no place to go from there.

That's right. The answer to this question boils down to "working hard or hardly working." I know. I'm disappointed too.

[A pause.]

Anyway, I'd have untold amounts of power. It'd be great.

Someone tells you all your flaws. What did they tell you, and are they right or wrong?

By "someone" do you mean "my bosses?" Because if I have to hear any of those morons try to give me the same old pointless performance review for the millionth time, I'm going to break down and create a death ray. They need me more than I need them. Anyway, I'm no stranger to unnecessary critique, and at this point I have a pretty extensive list of the various issues people have with me if they're brave enough to say something. Are they right? Maybe. Are they wrong? Maybe. Many things I consider the opposite of flaws end up being called flaws, and many things I consider flaws might inexplicably be desired by the rest of the populace. Things are funny that way.

As for how I feel about it? Easy: I don't care. Their opinions don't matter in the end. You know whose does? That's right. I can openly admit that my biggest flaw is being human, and I fully intend to take care of that particular glaring issue one of these days. Tell that to someone else, and they'll claim something about that not being a flaw, but that's how you can tell that nobody knows anything about anything.

Are we done here?

✘ Type: Mechanical
✘ Powers:

Power 1: He has an internal, mental wifi connection. Subject to the usual whims of wifi dropping out.
Power 2: He can partially transfer his "consciousness" to machines and control them, or speak through them. He has to be able to connect to them in some way to do that, either wireless or wired, and the more he focuses on the machines or the more he tries to control at once the less his full body can do simultaneously.
Power 3: His body, while humanoid by default, is modular and can also unfold into groups of smaller limbs/tools/etc. There's always the potential of getting stuck, however.

✘ Inventory: One flight suit, one pair of fingerless control gloves, one pair of goggles, one wrist computer.
✘ Sample: https://canyon-memes.dreamwidth.org/492.html?thread=1004#cmt1004

https://bakerstreet.dreamwidth.org/7061941.html?thread=3106349493#cmt3106349493